-- once upon a time there was a slavegirl (that's me) and a man who wanted to own me, to posess me. he was impressive at times and foolish at times, and he was neither the richest nor the most powerful. i refuse, i deny him the gift i know he seeks, forcing him to ask for it, and when he begs so prettily for the chance to lock a collar around my throat, i deny him that, snubbing him as only a vain, prideful slavegirl could do.

he offers me a trade, and it is this: i protect my interests in one way, and in another, i give myself to him. i refuse this, i want no trades, i am neither merchant nor auctioneer, to be selling myself off for a handful of favors. he tries again, this time demanding me, all of me, but he shows no consolation, no spirit, and he would have me abandon the world and family i know, leaving them defenseless. this too i refuse, denying him the right to hurt those i care about.

then comes the day when he does not arrive at my door with words, with promises, with demands, with expectations. he is not knocking. there are no shouted desires, none of it. i open the door and look out... nothing. it is as if he never existed.

at first i am pleased, glad to be rid of him. then as the day wears on i find myself missing his voice, wishing for the sound of him, for the lively debates and brief flaring fights that consumed the two of us at times, for his touch, for the knowledge that he desired me.

i walk, seeking him. i trace his path throughout worlds, throughout universes. i uncover a hundred stories in the journey, each one some tale of him, of what he did just before he left, before i arrived. he is famous, and i, i am following the legend, i am running after him like a lost puppy.

it feels as if that is what i am, some lost animal, desperate, running without reason for the only thing that seems familiar, even if that thing is a cliff edge.

eventually i reach the end... there are no more worlds beyond this one. he is not here. i stop... i fall to my knees, my hands at my throat, whispering his name into the void that is beyond, and i say to that waiting darkening endless mouth "if he has journeyed within you, then i will follow. i will not live without him."

a hand on my shoulder startles me. i turn, no longer the clumsy, prideful girl that i had been. i kneel at the feet of this stranger, my body held gracefully, my heart clear in my eyes, my posture showing respect, not ambition and stubborness. and the stranger speaks.

"girl, i have followed you for a long time. i have watched you seek this man, i have heard you curse him, pray to him, cry his name, laugh at him, even avow your love. i want to know what it is you truly feel toward him."

i smiled, my voice only honest, pure words that sprung from years searching and waiting, from an eternity of seeing him, over and over again, each tim watching him leave because i was prideful, i was vain, i was not the slave i so often dreamed of being. "i feel toward him every emotion a slavegirl is capable of. i exist for him, my passion and anger as much his as my pleasure and patience, my scorn and my worship all his, should they amuse him. i was foolish, and in my pride refused him. i seek him now to beg his forgiveness and in hopes that he will give a worthless girl one more chance."

"that girl has gained worth indeed in my eyes, as she has learned her place," said the stranger... and before my gaze, he threw off his mask, revealing himself as my beloved... my master.

"i will not take you yet, girl. i will continue watching, i will see if you are indeed what you now seem to be. but know that your heart belongs to me, your body as well. keep them safe and ready for me, serve me as well as you can."

and so i struggle, serving him, wanting him, and existing for him... knowing that he may never claim me. knowing that he may choose never to accept the gift i offer, never to take me as his. and still i offer it wilingly. i exist for him. i love him.

once upon a time there was a slavegirl... and everybody knows that 'once upon a time' stories always have a happy ending sooner or later. --